29 Dec Self Motivation Techniques & Positive Attitude Tips: Why Breaking the Rules Matters
On this journey to wellness we have encountered many problems we all face daily and how we relate to them. We are even more bogged won than we think because we need to add yet another layer of sheepishness to our collective consciousness. Rules, laws and ways of behavior that is prescribed by society often bog us down. Since we live according to other people’s beliefs and their approval is so important, we tend to live externally focused lives. Externally focused lives are lives when all our modes of behavior is shaped on the belief that we are only doing what is expected and that if we don’t we will be ostracized. We blame our unhappiness on others who enforce these rules and stand back, not taking any responsibility for our own actions.
Right And Wrong:
We do not believe that we are the Masters of our own destinies and we follow every rule, law and convention religiously. Right and wrong dictate our lives and we even struggle to make decisions because we are afraid of a wrong decision. Who is to say what is right or wrong and why do we have to be right all the time? It is perhaps because of this right vs. wrong problem that our relationships crumble and that we have people on the fringes of society ridiculing the rule of law. We should start to question the validity of blind obedience a little more and take back control of our own lives.
There are lots of behaviors that qualify as ”I should” behavior and I will list but a few of them here in order to get you to understand exactly what I am talking about.
Questions and Answers:
You always wear what the fashion dictates or what you are supposed to wear in a certain season according to the catwalks in New York and Paris. A silly rule according to me is not wearing white between Labor Day and Memorial Day. Why should I not wear pastels in the winter and if I can find a light wool jacket, why can’t I wear it to my air-conditioned office in the summer? If I live in South Africa with no exceptionally harsh winters and really hot summers, why should I wear a business suit to work like those silly Europeans? We all do that and we should maybe think of changing this – oops another should.
We struggle to decide on a lot of things. Should we be wearing something formal for the ballet or should we stop following tradition and go casually. Will it really make a difference to the ballet dancers if we go in jeans? Would it be the right thing to not show them the respect they deserve. If we did not like it, do we have the right to actually complain and state why or should we simply keep quiet and agree with everyone on how fabulous it was.
We do silly things like only drinking the right kind of wine with the right type of dish. We send out lots of cards every Hanukah and Christmas because we have to and it would look bad if we did not follow the traditions. We do things a certain way in our homes because that is the way someone else has decreed it to be. We go to functions we do not want to go to. Married couples do things together even though they don’t want to do this all the time.
Rule Of Law:
We have sex in ways that could be described as normal only and try to steer away from anything considered to be deviant lest someone should describe us as such and recommend treatment for our sick fantasies. We also follow gender roles very strictly. Women are generally expected to run a home even if they work. A man is the breadwinner and women do not have the right to ask men out since men are the hunters. We constantly compare ourselves to others and place more value in a certificate or a title than we place value on our inherent belief that we are worthy.This rule of law kills individuality like so many other things in our society and we allow it. Maybe we should make a change and challenge those restrictions?